This one will be a laugh.

Here we go, story number 3!

So I met this guy through work, as you do. We didn’t work in the same department but one of my managers had worked with him before and said he was ‘so lovely’ and couldn’t say a bad word about him. We got talking and he seemed pretty normal at first. Good chat, he was so easy to talk to and we seemed to have a lot in common. He was 10 years older than me, but that didn’t make any difference. He looked younger and he was pretty fit to be fair. I definitely fancied him!

On our first date we went for a nice, sunny walk near his place. We got on really well! We went over to his after walking, he cooked for me and we just chilled and got to know each other some more. We had a little cuddle and a sneaky kiss on the sofa and it all ended really nicely.

After that, he asked me if I wanted to stay over at the weekend so we could have a drink and I didn’t have to worry about getting home. We all know what that really meant, he was expecting sex. Men! smh.

Well I was single and didn’t care at that point, he was HOT. Again he made food and we had a few gins and one thing lead to another etc etc… So it was the first night I stayed over and he was just sooo awkward. As soon as we got in bed he put ear plugs in, turned over and went silent. He didn’t even say good night?! So weird. In the morning things seemed alright so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and let the silence slide. He did cook me breakfast to be fair as well.

After I left things seemed okay; less awkward, and he was fairly talkative again. Then it started. It seemed that because we’d now slept together, he thought it was acceptable to try and ‘sext’ and send me pictures. I just didn’t know what to say AGAIN. How do you react?

For some reason I really liked this guy so I tried to go along with the sexting as much as I could, or as much as I would allow myself to haha. The third time we arranged to see each other, I just went round to his again and we had a couple of drinks and watched telly. I was up early for work the next day so we were sensible and got an early night. Sex first, obvs.

It happened again, he just turned over with his earplugs in and went to sleep!? In the morning, my alarm went off early and he was going to stay in bed. You’d think he would be polite and at least say morning to me, but no. He groaned and turned over.

This is where it gets interesting and why this was the last time I saw him. I took my bag and most of my things into the bathroom to get ready so I didn’t disturb him too much and make him even more grumpy. As I was getting ready, I heard his bedroom door close. After I was dressed etc, I stepped out of the bathroom to find he had put my phone on the floor outside his door. He’d sent me a text message saying he was going to get some more sleep and to let myself out, the door key was on the stairs. HOW RUDE!! I was honestly in shock! The funny thing was that I’d left some stuff in his room so I still had to go back in and get it anyway. His door made a right creaky noise, GOOD. I hope it woke him!!

I left at 6am for work anyway. An hour or so after starting work he text me. He said he had never known someone to move so much in their sleep and that he gets angry if he doesn’t get enough sleep. For one, why invite me round on a school night knowing you have work in the morning? And two, I’m obviously to going to sleep very well in someone else’s bed that I’m not used to. It was a joke (not the funny kind).

I tried to laugh it off at first but I just had to tell him how much that annoyed me. Over the next week or so he carried on trying to text and sext and send pics etc. I was just being off with him. Eventually I told him that I didn’t want to see him again and tried to call things off. He then proceeded to send me a lovely dick pic and asked if that would change my mind? Erm, DEFINITELY NOT. That officially made my decision for me. Go away.

This was a longer story than usual, but I hope it brought some entertainment to your day.  My friends either found it funny or were in total shock!


Back on track.

So I promised another dick pic story, story number 2.

This was a disappointing one. A guy that I had known and had a thing with on and off since I was 18, so just over 9 years. We met on the first night at University, the pub crawl never the less. It just never seemed to happen for us. It would always end up fizzling out or something would get in the way. We both ended up in long term relationships and to cut a long story short, we just did’t speak for years. After my relationship broke down, I tried to reconnect with him (for some reason). He popped up on suggested friends on Facebook and I thought that must be a sign! We started talking and again, things fizzled out.

Last year we gave it another go as he reconnected with me after seeing I was working in the same industry now. We met up quite often, he’d book hotels for us and take me out to fancy restaurants, but there were many false promises and I just wasn’t happy with the way it was working. He was too busy, started cancelling on me all the time, and there was just a lot of physical distance between us.

Third time lucky?! We started speaking (via snapchat of all things) after I became single again earlier this year; yep, another failed relationship. He seemed more serious this time. More communication, more planning, and I had a bit more trust.

Then it started. Because we lived so far away from each other, we’d send little snaps and videos to each other throughout the days. He started trying to ‘sext’ etc and I just can’t entertain it. I am the worst person for that, I have no idea what to say?! Please someone give me a lesson hahaha. But the day finally came where he sent me a video of it. Playing. Why?! Again, I didn’t ask, I would never send anything like that back? What was it going to achieve? I felt so awkward. And that immediately made me look at him in a different light. I knew it wasn’t going to work from that moment. After 9 years, I knew that it was never going to go any further.

Sad times.

Dick pic story number 3 will follow soon!! This isn’t just about the dick pics. It will make you speechless for a moment like it did my friends when I told them what happened. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!!


Going off topic… But good news!

So I know I promised the next dick pic story and it’s been a couple of months since I’ve written my last post, but I’ve actually had some good luck with dating, finally!!

I’ve been dating a guy for the last 2 months which is going really well, my luck has changed! (I’ve probably just jinxed this though.) When people ask how we met, they’re all expecting us to say ‘Tinder’ or ‘Online’ somehow, but we actually met on a night out, who’d have thought it! a ‘Normal’ way of meeting people. I thought I’d never hear from him again after giving him my number, but I had a text off him as soon as I got in!

At least it’s a slightly better story than ‘we both swiped right’!! Although I had definitely had a fair few gins that night and couldn’t remember bumping into him at the bar.

Now the next dilemma is when you consider yourself ‘official’. Are we boyfriend and Girlfriend? Do we have to have ‘the conversation’? When I discuss it with anyone above the age of 40 years old they all say they don’t understand dating in the modern day. When they had been on a couple of dates in their day they were automatically considered a couple. That just wouldn’t happen now! Why do we have these rules? Why did we have to complicate things? And how long should we wait before having this conversation together?

There are so many questions and rules we have to follow these days, I don’t like it! We feel like we have to comply by these dating rules. Am I just ‘seeing’ someone at the moment? Who knows when or if we’ll reach the next stage but I just know that I am enjoying his company at the moment. It’s been so great to be able to be my stupid-self around him as well. He’s definitely gotten to a comfortable stage, he’s started farting around me now. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but it’s funny how it doesn’t bother me, I just laugh. Good sign??!!


Did I ask for photo of it?

I don’t understand how guys still haven’t learnt that this puts a girl off. The last three men I’ve dated have ALL sent me dick pics. Yep. So attractive.

I’ve definitely been sent them in the past as well, but these last three were really interesting.

So guy number one… Someone I’ve known for a long time through school friends. He popped back up on Instagram with a little message asking how I’ve been etc. (Instagram plays a big part in many of these stories). We were having nice conversations, back and forth, and really getting on well. I had a good feeling about him as well. Maybe someone from your past comes back into your life for a reason? We’d met up once, then twice, nothing more than a little snog. It was cute. He seemed like a proper gentleman! Then it just fizzled out really. He’d stop responding to messages (thought I’d been ghosted again!) but just randomly sent the odd snapchat or reply to my Insta stories with some heart-eyed emojis or ‘You need to come see me’, but would never follow though with plans.

After a few days of not speaking, I had a snapchat notification saying that he’d sent a video. I thought it would be the usual in the gym or what I’m eating kind of video but I just did not expect this. A video, in the shower, music on, dancing. Everything hanging out. It was actually quite entertaining, but WHY!? I hope I speak for a lot of the female population when I say we just don’t want to see it! I don’t feel like I send any signals that suggest I would want to receive these? They’re not exactly pretty either are they?

I swear to God if I get anymore from guys, I’m going to ghost them myself!!


Dick pic guy number two will follow in the next blog post. Number three is my fave though. I cannot wait to relive that one…


Here Goes…

When I was a teen I thought I would be happily married by this age, I always compared myself to my parents; married at 26 years old and beginning a family.

I turn 27 next week and I’m still sat here single. BUT, the relationships and dates I’ve had over the last 10 years have taught me a lot of lessons. Number 1 – don’t settle.

My dating experiences have been so relatable that I just HAD to share some of them. Also because I want to hear whether or not I am over-reacting, being weird or I’m actually normal!? I’ve been in love, I’ve had one-night stands and I’ve been put off men for the rest of my life. The experiences I will share will contain actual quotes from guys that I’ve been on dates with and I hope you find them as entertaining as I did!

Firstly, why do men tell lies!? ‘Just know I’m not just after sex’. Well why after the deed is done do you then go cold? There have been a few times where I have been ghosted after this. Am I just shit in bed? Has my body put you off? Maybe other guys have been lying as well when they’ve said the sex was good. Even dating someone that’s 9 years older than me didn’t work.

Us girls can’t do anything right these days. You hold off and don’t have sex with someone and they then stop responding to texts because you didn’t put out. WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Why can’t I just find a nice guy, decent job and aspirations, who’s honest, loyal and doesn’t just want to date a girl for sex. I’m not asking for much, right?